I just might kill myself.

Not really. Suicide ain't my gig.

But he's sitting right beside me and I just want to jump in a pool of hot lava and never, ever everevevrevervrvevervevrervr come out.

I hate him so much, and every time I see him with her, I want to puke even though I know he just told me that he loves? loved? loves? me?

maybe he changed his fucking mind.

I hate him. I look so stupid right now. Stupid and stupid.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

I BET SOME OF YOUR FUCKING STUPID FRIENDS DYED YOUR FUCKING STUPID HAIR YOU LOOK STUPID

One Giant Metaphor

So, in my left hand I've got this seed that I found. And it's growing. Really beautifully.
But, in my right hand, I've got this flower that's taken over a year to blossom. I waited, and it worked.
I can't just throw one of them to the wind. I love them both equally.
I picked both of them, and I'm not sure what to do. There's no way, that, when push comes to shove, I can keep both flowers and put them in a vase together. One might go by before the other. One might stop growing. I can't chance that.
I can't let either of them go. On the left, I have this rare kind of seed, the kind I never see, but the kind that takes a lot of work to maintain. To cultivate. But it's coming along better than I've ever seen. On the right, I've got one of those flowers that goes by quickly, but comes back every year. But it's the most beautiful thing I've ever raised.
If I let the former grow, it could turn into something amazing, huge. But, if I let it grow, I can't give attention to that flower that comes back annually.
If I focus on the latter, there's absolutely no way that seed can survive.
So, for a while, I'm just going to raise both, until a hurricane comes through and rips them both apart, anyway.

I do not not not not not like her.

Bitch.

She condems everyone for all this stuff then does it herself.

You, my dear, are an idiom.
You, sir, are an idiot.
If you were to conceive a baby,
I would suggest you got rid of it.

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

What?! WHAT?!

Double-jeopardy. Fuckin' fuck, man.

Of course she got the part. How could she not? He loves her. She's pretty. She looks like a secretary. Even if she won't kiss people onstage.

And of course he gave parts with swears to people who are too wholesome and Christian to swear, and of course he bent over backwards to give the small, Christian girls new lines without swears that would hurt their little Christian ears

WHEN I OBVIOUSLY DISPLAYED IN MY AUDITION THAT I COULD BE ON TIME, WOULD GIVE UP SOME CLUBS ON SOME DAYS FOR DRAMA, WOULD BE WILLING TO SWEAR -AND- CONQUER MY GIANT FEAR OF KISSING ON STAGE.

but that's not enough, is it?

[Just try to tell him how you feel without sounding like a huge girl.]
"I miss you so much it hurts sometimes." - Scrubs

I am miserable without it.
Maybe not him, just it.

I AM MISERABLE. TOTALLY, TOTALLY MISERABLE.
WHAT THE HELL.
I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS.
I AM SO GIVING INTO THE FEMALE TEENAGE CLICHE AT THE MOMENT.
FUCK IT.